Thoughts and Horizons

I was committed to diligently writing my blog, but it felt like I was hitting a mental block. I have a few drafts that remain unfinished. I'm trying, but I just can't seem to finish a blog post. I’ll start writing what’s on my mind, but then my thoughts start jumping between unrelated ideas or scenarios. After that, I can’t finish writing, and I struggle to make my thoughts cohesive. For instance, I was writing about my best friend and how our recent get-together and heart-to-heart talk really helped me navigate my emotions around the recent events in my life. I managed to write a good three or four paragraphs, but then I suddenly didn’t know how to end it. Then, my mind would jump to thoughts of sharing how God has answered our prayers. Our permanent residency application is finally moving forward, and for those who don’t know, it’s the last few steps toward migrating to Canada. But, of course, this still involves a lot of processes and will consume a significant chunk of our ...

Today, we had a very engaging workshop on storytelling. I enjoyed every bit of it. But beyond the principles and ideas around storytelling, what really struck me was the discussion about branding and making yourself known. I’ve been feeling unrecognized and unheard lately. But hearing this was like an eye-opener. "You should make yourself known. No one's going to do it for you." I’ve been feeling down and indifferent, thinking people weren’t recognizing my efforts. I realized that while I can't control how others see me or compel them to recognize my efforts, I’ve also fallen short in letting people know who I am and what I’ve achieved. For one, I like to keep a low profile. I don’t speak up, and  I keep my ideas to myself. I’ve been complacent, not wanting to be perceived. I shy away from attention. "Let my work speak for itself." I thought hitting KPIs, exceeding expectations, and going the extra mile were enough. Not that these things don’t matter, they a...

Yesterday, I booked a Grab to get to the office for a workshop. I scheduled it 40 minutes before the call time, as it would only take me 30 minutes to reach the office, even accounting for moderate traffic. I was familiar with the traffic patterns at that time of day, so I was confident it wouldn’t be too heavy. "If you're early, you're wasting your time. If you're late, you're wasting others' time. So, be on time." That is  principle I learned from my CAT training in high school. Since then, I strive to be punctual and avoid causing any delays. When the Grab car arrived, everything went as usual. I greeted the driver, settled comfortably into the seat, and we were on our way. During the ride, the driver asked if we should take the expressway. I agreed and instructed him to add the toll fee to the total fare. He nodded, or at least I thought we had agreed. To my dismay, he bypassed the first entrance to the expressway. When I reminded him, he said the app ...

 She’s fond of classical music. Nowadays, it’s rare for her to find someone in her circle who appreciates classical music beyond seeing it as mere background or relaxing music. Then she found someone who shares the same appreciation for this type of music. This man had a deep love for art and literature, and his insights on diverse topics were impressive, at least, that’s what she perceived from a few of his articles that she had read. Even though they didn’t really know each other, she felt a kind of connection with him through his playlist. Opportunities arose, and she had a good reason to reach out to him. “Just tell me how I can be of help,” he said. Despite not having met on a personal level and knowing he might only have associated her with the organization she belonged to, he was very warm and approachable. They finally met. She wasn’t very good at small talk and wasn’t sure how she fared that night. She mostly just smiled, laughed, and added a few thoughts to the conversati...

I quit drinking coffee and eating rice, and I lost a solid 3 kg in just three months. I quit watching K-dramas, not that I really enjoyed them, so I could focus my attention on more productive tasks. I quit procrastinating, which allowed me to complete all my graduate school assignments and finish the program on time. I quit wallowing in self-pity and focused on the things I'm good at. Now, I can honestly say I feel better about myself. You see, quitting isn’t always about losing. More often than not, it's about winning. Quitting something we enjoy but that doesn’t do us much good is a way to open doors to better things for ourselves.  Sometimes, we just need the courage and resolve to do it. Now, I want to quit. I want to quit the job where I no longer see any growth. I want to leave a place where people lack confidence in my ability to do my work well. I want to quit a place where my potential goes unrecognized. I want to quit because I know I have so much more to offer the w...

This blog has allowed me to reconnect not only with my love for writing but also with my inner core, my commitment to serving others. Since starting my current job, I’ve always felt a bit anxious about my role. Please don't get me wrong. Although I sometimes feel like an oddball, I’ve grown to love what I’m doing, big thanks to my colleagues, who are great to work with. It’s just that I have a deep desire to do so much more. For context, I left my government job in 2022 because we were transitioning back to face-to-face work, and the office was in Quezon City, while I was living in Laguna. At that time, there was no One Ayala yet, meaning the transport system was horrible, with queuing times of 3 to 5 hours just to get on a bus home, and I’m not even exaggerating. (Though commuting has become easier now.) Driving to QC wasn’t an option either, not only because tolls and gas were too expensive, but also because I couldn’t bear the notorious traffic. I would get home at 11 PM or midn...

Just yesterday, I posted my new blog on Facebook, the first time I willingly shared my thoughts publicly. It took a lot of courage to finally express my views, share my anecdotes, and more. Before publishing it on Facebook, I shared it with a dear journalist friend to get his thoughts. He’s someone whose writing style I really admire, factual yet full of emotion. It’s like you can truly feel the emotions and visualize what he’s trying to convey. "I love your style," he said in a Viber message. For someone who isn’t very confident in her writing skills, this meant a lot. "You are a great writer, Ein. Appreciate your own style, and never cease to learn." My heart was so happy. These were words I always wanted to believe. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not greedy for compliments, but I believe I needed a little boost of affirmation to do well in this craft and pay it forward by inspiring others. "Go on, don’t stop sharing your thoughts and feelings, Ein." So,...