Silly Things My Younger Self Did for My Crush

Yes, you read the title right. Seeing how Gen Z expresses their affection today makes me compare their ways with what my younger self did when I had a crush. I know I might be too old to share this, but it seems kind of fun to reminisce about the silly things I did in the name of love (or at least what I thought was love back then).

For context, I was just a typical student, mediocre, I must say. My routine was pretty straightforward: home, school, training (I was a table tennis varsity player in high school and part of the pep squad in college), then back home. I didn’t go out much. My only 'gala' back then was training, group projects, or library duties every Saturday since I’d been a scholar since kindergarten. So, that was me, a typical student.

So, back to the silly things I did for my crushes. Maybe I can share my top three, probably the ones I can still remember.

1. In high school, our teachers loved writing lectures on the blackboard for us to copy into our notebooks, and completing these notes was part of our grading system. During Science class, which was particularly lecture-heavy, I had a seatmate who I secretly had a crush on. Looking back, I have to question my preferences back then. He was a happy-go-lucky guy, not too concerned with school requirements, probably because he came from a wealthy family and didn’t have to worry about grades the way I did as a scholar.

One day, he came down with chicken pox and had to miss almost two weeks of school. He was worried he wouldn’t be able to catch up on his lectures, which could affect his grade or clearance. I can’t recall all the details now, but I ended up writing all of his notes for him. Every day, I wrote two sets of lectures, one for him and one for myself. It was kind of silly, but at the time, it felt like a badge of honor to do something valuable for him. My efforts didn’t go to waste, though. He was very grateful. Maybe he thought no one would ever do something like that for him. Yeah, no one else was as silly as I was.

2. Next, there was this subject called Literary Criticism. Most of the class found it difficult, with its confusing theories and approaches, or maybe it was just the way the teacher explained them (may she rest in peace). For our final paper, we had to apply different literary criticism approaches to a text. Not to brag, but I was doing pretty well in the class, thanks to my love of literature. My paper was a deconstruction of Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights, which, by the way, is still dear to me to this day. I finished my paper earlier than most of my classmates.

Then there was this long-time crush of mine, a guy a few years older than me. He was desperate for help because he couldn’t understand the subject at all. And yes, once again, he was one of those happy-go-lucky types who didn’t care much about school requirements. I know, I know, my younger self’s preferences were questionable. Haha. So, guess what I did? I wrote his paper for him. I chose an easier novel that I’d already read, Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. I can’t remember the approach I used, but I handed it over to him, all done and ready.

On the day of submission, our professor announced that a few students had earned exemptions from the final exam. There were only three of us: a classmate, me, and him. He couldn’t believe it and felt a little guilty, knowing he didn’t really deserve the exemption. But he was grateful, and for me, it was yet another badge of honor.

3. Lastly, this one wasn't just a crush. It happened while I was studying at Nam Hae College in South Korea, and it felt like something out of a K-drama, without the happy ending. This was my first real heartbreak, and the silly thing I did was write extensively about him, the experience, and my feelings. I filled an entire journal with my thoughts and eventually gave it to him when I decided to let him go. I even dedicated a blogsite to him. He wasn’t my first boyfriend though, he was more of a situationship, as people would call it now.

My style might seem cheesy and mushy compared to what most Gen Z or Gen Alpha folks do today, but I still believe in the sincerity and ingenuity of handwritten letters and efforts to express fondness and affection. That said, I don’t invalidate the ways people express themselves now.

So, those were the silly things my younger self did for my crushes. What about yours?