Thoughts and Horizons

I was committed to diligently writing my blog, but it felt like I was hitting a mental block. I have a few drafts that remain unfinished. I'm trying, but I just can't seem to finish a blog post. I’ll start writing what’s on my mind, but then my thoughts start jumping between unrelated ideas or scenarios. After that, I can’t finish writing, and I struggle to make my thoughts cohesive. For instance, I was writing about my best friend and how our recent get-together and heart-to-heart talk really helped me navigate my emotions around the recent events in my life. I managed to write a good three or four paragraphs, but then I suddenly didn’t know how to end it. Then, my mind would jump to thoughts of sharing how God has answered our prayers. Our permanent residency application is finally moving forward, and for those who don’t know, it’s the last few steps toward migrating to Canada. But, of course, this still involves a lot of processes and will consume a significant chunk of our ...

Today, we had a very engaging workshop on storytelling. I enjoyed every bit of it. But beyond the principles and ideas around storytelling, what really struck me was the discussion about branding and making yourself known. I’ve been feeling unrecognized and unheard lately. But hearing this was like an eye-opener. "You should make yourself known. No one's going to do it for you." I’ve been feeling down and indifferent, thinking people weren’t recognizing my efforts. I realized that while I can't control how others see me or compel them to recognize my efforts, I’ve also fallen short in letting people know who I am and what I’ve achieved. For one, I like to keep a low profile. I don’t speak up, and  I keep my ideas to myself. I’ve been complacent, not wanting to be perceived. I shy away from attention. "Let my work speak for itself." I thought hitting KPIs, exceeding expectations, and going the extra mile were enough. Not that these things don’t matter, they a...

Yesterday, I booked a Grab to get to the office for a workshop. I scheduled it 40 minutes before the call time, as it would only take me 30 minutes to reach the office, even accounting for moderate traffic. I was familiar with the traffic patterns at that time of day, so I was confident it wouldn’t be too heavy. "If you're early, you're wasting your time. If you're late, you're wasting others' time. So, be on time." That is  principle I learned from my CAT training in high school. Since then, I strive to be punctual and avoid causing any delays. When the Grab car arrived, everything went as usual. I greeted the driver, settled comfortably into the seat, and we were on our way. During the ride, the driver asked if we should take the expressway. I agreed and instructed him to add the toll fee to the total fare. He nodded, or at least I thought we had agreed. To my dismay, he bypassed the first entrance to the expressway. When I reminded him, he said the app ...

 She’s fond of classical music. Nowadays, it’s rare for her to find someone in her circle who appreciates classical music beyond seeing it as mere background or relaxing music. Then she found someone who shares the same appreciation for this type of music. This man had a deep love for art and literature, and his insights on diverse topics were impressive, at least, that’s what she perceived from a few of his articles that she had read. Even though they didn’t really know each other, she felt a kind of connection with him through his playlist. Opportunities arose, and she had a good reason to reach out to him. “Just tell me how I can be of help,” he said. Despite not having met on a personal level and knowing he might only have associated her with the organization she belonged to, he was very warm and approachable. They finally met. She wasn’t very good at small talk and wasn’t sure how she fared that night. She mostly just smiled, laughed, and added a few thoughts to the conversati...

I quit drinking coffee and eating rice, and I lost a solid 3 kg in just three months. I quit watching K-dramas, not that I really enjoyed them, so I could focus my attention on more productive tasks. I quit procrastinating, which allowed me to complete all my graduate school assignments and finish the program on time. I quit wallowing in self-pity and focused on the things I'm good at. Now, I can honestly say I feel better about myself. You see, quitting isn’t always about losing. More often than not, it's about winning. Quitting something we enjoy but that doesn’t do us much good is a way to open doors to better things for ourselves.  Sometimes, we just need the courage and resolve to do it. Now, I want to quit. I want to quit the job where I no longer see any growth. I want to leave a place where people lack confidence in my ability to do my work well. I want to quit a place where my potential goes unrecognized. I want to quit because I know I have so much more to offer the w...

This blog has allowed me to reconnect not only with my love for writing but also with my inner core, my commitment to serving others. Since starting my current job, I’ve always felt a bit anxious about my role. Please don't get me wrong. Although I sometimes feel like an oddball, I’ve grown to love what I’m doing, big thanks to my colleagues, who are great to work with. It’s just that I have a deep desire to do so much more. For context, I left my government job in 2022 because we were transitioning back to face-to-face work, and the office was in Quezon City, while I was living in Laguna. At that time, there was no One Ayala yet, meaning the transport system was horrible, with queuing times of 3 to 5 hours just to get on a bus home, and I’m not even exaggerating. (Though commuting has become easier now.) Driving to QC wasn’t an option either, not only because tolls and gas were too expensive, but also because I couldn’t bear the notorious traffic. I would get home at 11 PM or midn...

Just yesterday, I posted my new blog on Facebook, the first time I willingly shared my thoughts publicly. It took a lot of courage to finally express my views, share my anecdotes, and more. Before publishing it on Facebook, I shared it with a dear journalist friend to get his thoughts. He’s someone whose writing style I really admire, factual yet full of emotion. It’s like you can truly feel the emotions and visualize what he’s trying to convey. "I love your style," he said in a Viber message. For someone who isn’t very confident in her writing skills, this meant a lot. "You are a great writer, Ein. Appreciate your own style, and never cease to learn." My heart was so happy. These were words I always wanted to believe. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not greedy for compliments, but I believe I needed a little boost of affirmation to do well in this craft and pay it forward by inspiring others. "Go on, don’t stop sharing your thoughts and feelings, Ein." So,...

Sometimes we get anxious when things don’t align with our plans. We want to fast-track our goals, like landing our ideal job, and become anxious when we don’t hear back right away. Or we might be torn about whether to go to law school while waiting for our papers to start anew in a different country. We might feel out of place in our current job, thinking we shouldn’t be doing mundane tasks anymore, but rather using our skills to make a difference, if not in the world, then at least in our own country. When everything feels mixed up and chaotic, it’s easy to become impatient and frustrated. We might question ourselves and our capabilities, feeling unloved or unworthy of what we desire for ourselves or our family. It’s natural to feel like giving up sometimes. Often, when we force things to happen, it only complicates matters further and makes everything seem even more messed up. Little do we realize, we need to learn the art of waiting. This art requires not only patience and acceptanc...

Yes, you read the title right. Seeing how Gen Z expresses their affection today makes me compare their ways with what my younger self did when I had a crush. I know I might be too old to share this, but it seems kind of fun to reminisce about the silly things I did in the name of love (or at least what I thought was love back then). For context, I was just a typical student, mediocre, I must say. My routine was pretty straightforward: home, school, training (I was a table tennis varsity player in high school and part of the pep squad in college), then back home. I didn’t go out much. My only 'gala' back then was training, group projects, or library duties every Saturday since I’d been a scholar since kindergarten. So, that was me, a typical student. So, back to the silly things I did for my crushes. Maybe I can share my top three, probably the ones I can still remember. 1. In high school, our teachers loved writing lectures on the blackboard for us to copy into our notebooks, a...

Recently, Carlos Yulo made history by winning two gold medals at the Paris Olympics. He's the first male to win the most coveted gold not once, but twice. Every Filipino was rejoicing. It is rare to have this sense of pride, where you can truly say that you are proud to be Filipino. However, Carlos's victory was overshadowed by controversy regarding his rift with his mom, who allegedly posted unlikely content on social media, expressing her dismay towards her son, rooting for another country’s representative, and voicing out her disapproval of Carlos's girlfriend, Chloe. The issues escalated to the point where financial concerns were raised. The mother allegedly implied that Chloe would squander Carlos' money and that she was taking him away from his family. Carlos came to her defense, countering his mother’s statements, claiming that it was his mother who spent his money without his knowledge and that his girlfriend had her own means. The family drama continued until h...

This is it. Finally, I'm opening up my innermost thoughts to the world. I've been writing since I was a kid, probably since the 2nd grade. I kept a lot of diaries throughout my school years, where I poured out my thoughts, feelings, and everyday musings. I wrote a lot of poetry and shared my views on life, expressing myself on even the most trivial matters. I filled the pages of my notebooks with these reflections, starting with fancy journals, moving to ones with locks, and eventually moving to blogging when it became a thing in college. I had my Tumblr account, where I unleashed all my thoughts, musings, and whatever came to mind. I poured my soul into every word I wrote, each piece brimming with emotion, some were memoirs others are anecdotes. I've written many poems, essays, and various forms of literature, some of which I can no longer classify because, to me, they are all fragments of my emotions, a part of my being. I kept the blog private, of course, as these were m...